Trump’s impeachment trial is nearing its close, but not before Republicans have had the chance to undermine themselves once more. On Thursday’s episode of Late Night with Seth Meyers, the host skewered the Donald Defence Squad’s pivot from insisting there was no quid pro quo to insisting that, even if there was, it didn’t matter, and it shouldn’t be impeachable anyway.
You can practically see them insisting “I’m not owned!” as they slowly shrink and transform into corn cobs.
“If you worked at Dunkin’ Donuts and your boss said to you, ‘Hey Brad, did you stick your dick through the crullers?’ and you said ‘Of course not,’ and then he asked you again and you said, ‘It doesn’t matter, crullers taste like dick anyway!’ then yeah,” said Meyers. “You stuck your dick through all the crullers.”
In a pure and just world, the premise that both presidential quid pro quos and dick crullers are bad would be uncontested facts. However in the world of Trump lawyer Alan Dershowitz, pretty much anything done to secure re-election is acceptable because the president believes his re-appointment to be in the public interest.